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Praise for
Performance Coaching
"Angus has done excellent work, elegantly integrating and adapting the
skills of Neuro-Linguistic Programming into the process of coaching. And
it's an enjoyable read!"
Shelle Rose Charvet, author of
Words That Change Minds
"This book gives any executive coach, as well as all managers for that mat-
ter, an extended frame of reference for finding new and creative tools for
success in working with clients. This is stuff you can use. Examples are
both inspiring and reassuringly practical. Angus McLeod has produced a
book that deserves many users and a wide audience."
Julian Russell, Managing Director, PPD Consulting Ltd., executive
coaching specialists, and co-author of
Alpha Leadership: Tools for
Business Leaders Who Want More From Life
"With this book Angus McLeod sets a high standard of teaching by story
telling. His examples of coaching dialogues serve so well to illustrate how
to skilfully handle many coaching situations. The layout and subheadings
make them accessible to those who want to dip in and out of the book as
required. I enjoyed it and learned from it."
John Whitmore, author of
Coaching for Performance
“This book contains a wealth of knowledge on its subject. The author
clearly has extensive experience of coaching and demonstrates this exper-
tise effectively in the book.
“The major part of the book is a wide-ranging collection of cases to illustrate
various coaching applications - an approach that really brings the subject
to life. The cases are concise, yet clear and informative and each brings out
one or more specific points about coaching processes and issues.
“I would recommend this book to people wanting to extend their coaching
skills and to explore a wider range of approaches.”
Carol Harris, author of
Consult Yourself: The NLP Guide to Being a
Management Consultant
“
Performance Coaching
is an in-depth overview of the whole field of coach-
ing and mentoring. It describes a broad range of coaching models and
draws on the best practice from each. The practical examples, useful tips
and mini-transcripts will benefit those new to coaching, and profit sea-
soned old timers as well. We highly recommend this book.”
James Lawley and Penny Tompkins, authors of
Metaphors in Mind:
Transformation through Symbolic Modelling
“The author has achieved the near-impossible - writing a book that dem-
onstrates the potential of coaching as an effective and ethical instrument
for change and gives a flavour of its depth, richness and subtlety, but is
nevertheless accessible, comprehensible and usable for pro and novice
alike. This title deserves to sit - hopefully well-thumbed - alongside the
very limited number of internationally respected books on coaching.”
David Hoad, Coach and HR Consultant, The Kingsmoor Consultancy
“Angus McLeod's
Performance Coaching
is an immensely practical aid to
coaching and works at a level of detail - both in terms of language and
process - that will allow HR professionals and managers alike, even with
little formal coaching experience, to get to the heart of issues and resolve
them elegantly and respectfully.”
Anne Thompson, Group HR Director, Parity Plc
"Effective coaches can make the difference between good and great busi-
ness leaders. This book is packed with practical examples, tools and tips to
help the coach in this task - highly recommended."
Anne Deering, Director, AT Kearney
"As the field of coaching continues to discover the extensive skill-based
models of NLP,
Performance Coaching
by McLeod will become one of the
foundational books. This how-to manual provides an excellent use of NLP
models and skills for coaching. I like it also because it is further enhanced
by integrating much of Gallwey's Inner Game approach."
L. Michael Hall, PhD, Coaching Conversations and Meta-Coaching
Performance
Coaching
The Handbook for Managers, H. R.
Coaching
The Handbook for Managers, H. R.
Coaching
Professionals and Coaches
Angus I McLeod, PhD
MS, Mental Health Counseling
Adjunct Professor, Department of Human Services (Counseling)
Wright State University
Crown House Publishing
www.crownhouse. co.uk
First published by
Crown House Publishing Ltd
Crown Buildings, Bancyfelin, Carmarthen, Wales, SA33 5ND, UK
www.crownhouse.co.uk
and
Crown House Publishing Ltd
P.O. Box 2223, Williston, VT 05495-2223, USA
www.CHPUS.com
© Angus McLeod 2003
First published 2003. Reprinted 2004.
Illustrations by Les Evans
The right of Angus McLeod to be identified as the author of this work
has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs
and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under current
legislation no part of this work may be photocopied, stored in a retrieval
system, published, performed in public, adapted, broadcast, transmitted,
recorded or reproduced in any form or by any means,
without the prior permission of the copyright owners.
Enquiries should be addressed to
Crown House Publishing Limited.
British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
A catalogue entry for this book is available
from the British Library.
ISBN 1904424058
LCCN 2003102582
Printed and bound in the UK by
The Cromwell Press Ltd
Trowbridge
Wiltshire
Dedication
Diane Fahy Browning (1948–2002)
This book is dedicated to the life of Diane Fahy and to her extended
family and circle, who keep her memory in my mind as well as in
my heart.
Sometimes one is privileged to meet and develop a friendship that
persists through all changes and that is characterized by so much
understanding, commitment, and unconditional love that one is
regularly in awe of it. My friendship with Diane was like that for
over twenty years. Many others enjoyed the same level of friend-
ship and love that she effused. Diane influenced and affected a
multitude of people in and around Delaware, where she settled.
She captivated people with her acute attention and her laughter.
She was a model for positive mindsets in the face of considerable
adversity, both in life and in her dying.
Diane did not have the tools of the coach as described and illus-
trated in this book, but she had the instinctive qualities of a fine
coach. She was a ready listener and she cared passionately about
people, their targets and their aspirations. She dared to challenge
and risk a relationship if she felt that a friend might be moving in
harm’s way, away from their targets and a healthy future. She saw
people as holistic entities; she nurtured and underpinned hopes;
she helped to sketch the dreams from which plans and targets
would arise. She worked from a heart filled with love and with a
mind passionate and hopeful about the human spirit.
A biography about the life of Diane Fahy would make a valuable
and inspiring contribution to literature, but I offer this work to her
memory instead. After she died, many people said, independently,
that an angel had departed this world. I know her to be still with
us. A spirit like hers does not die.
Contents
Acknowledgments v
Preface vii
Chapter One
Introduction
1
Sources of inspiration
3
Defining coaching
4
Principal instruments of the coach
5
Definitions of coaching
9
Chapter Two
Coaching Issues—New Skills
11
Communication
11
Who’s the boss?
20
Feedback
26
Presenting
32
Interpersonal conflict
47
Stuck in a corner
67
Inner conflicts
73
Influencing
90
Chapter Three
Drivers for Change
99
Internal dialogue and self-judgments
100
Emotions
106
Authenticity
119
Negativity
123
Limiting beliefs and rules
126
Lacking compulsion to change
128
Hierarchy of logical levels
128
Walking the logical levels
131
Motivation
141
Chapter Four
Coaching Contract and Practice
161
Freelance coaching
161
Employing external coaches: strengths
and weaknesses
162
Internal coaching provision
163
To whom is the coach responsible?
164
Selling coaching internally
165
Letting coachees know what to expect
before sessions
166
First meeting: preparing for work
166
Scene setting and recapping expectations
167
i
Logistical needs for coaching sessions
169
Behaviors during coaching sessions
170
Neutrality
172
Empathetic projection and expressed sympathy
173
Pacing and leading
174
Breathing
175
Exquisite attention
176
Sensing
176
Instinct
177
Reflecting back issues and language
178
Ending sessions
178
Out-of-session work for the coachee
179
Subsequent sessions work for the coach
180
Chapter
Five
Developmental Models
181
Flexibility of coaching approach in organizations
181
Clean language
182
Symbolic modeling
183
Trance
184
Conversational coaching
185
Provocative coaching
186
The STEPPPA coaching method
189
A footnote on personality profiling models
192
Thinking preferences: filters on our world
193
Chapter Six
Coaching Development
203
Mindsets for the coach
203
Inner-game coaching
204
Mindsets
205
Underpinning values and beliefs
206
Servant leadership
207
People whispering
208
Facilitation
209
Coaching in groups
210
Self-coaching
212
Coach as coachee and observer
213
Changing coaching parameters
213
Two on one
214
Practice groups
216
Inspiration
217
Academic resources
218
Chapter Seven
Other Coaching Tools and Interventions
219
Questioning
219
Context-free questioning
221
Virtual timelines
224
ii
Performance Coaching
Metaphor and symbols
224
Storytelling
227
Chapter Eight
Coaching Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them
Chapter Eight Coaching Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them Chapter Eight
233
Psychological projection
233
Countertransference and inspiration
234
Separateness
236
Interpretation
237
Transference
239
Coachee attraction
241
Other issues in the coaching dynamic
243
Ethics
244
Keen beginnings
245
Pressing on
246
Chapter Nine
Mentoring and E-Mentoring
247
Mentoring
247
E-Mentoring
250
Glossary of Terms
253
Appendix One
A Brief History of Coaching by Steve Breibart
265
Appendix Two
Mindsets for the Coachee
269
Appendix Three
Mentee Feedback to Ask Max
271
Appendix Four
Code of Conduct and Methods for E-Mentors
273
Appendix Five
E-Mentor Questionnaire: An Example
279
Appendix Six
Web Resources
283
Bibliography
285
Further reading
288
About the author
289
Indexes
291
1. Linguistic tips
291
2. Tools
293
3. Main index
295
iii
Contents
[...]... attained the mantle of the true coach Many of our trainees come to coaching bursting with questions for their coachees They bombard them, hoping to find a weakness of either perception or thinking that they may attack and cure The performances are breathtaking for all concerned! The transformation of trainee to coach is evidenced when the direction and pace of the session seems to be coachee-led The coach... self-challenge and redefine their own frame of reference These new skills of mental agility assist them in the effectiveness of their thinking and their actions in other contexts The true coach observes miracles as incredible as the transformation that leads the tiny stirrings of the chrysalis into the bright magnificence of a butterfly If one has not felt privileged and humbled in the act of coaching,... not the player, but an instrument, in service to the art of the coachee The aim is to encourage the coachee to extend and explore their frame of reference, to help them find new and motivating tools for success in all they do and, with luck, inspire them to continue traits of self-learning that endure over time A frame of reference characterizes the nature and extent of the coachee’s reality, and the. .. on the script I have been fortunate to have the love and friendship of Dr Adrienne Carpenter, who offered me a perfect space to write this book Adrienne provided a peaceful and beautiful environment; understanding and support for the habits of the author who is committed to writing (and exhibits the ebbs and flows of inspiration); and refreshments and diversions when the author left his inner world and. .. useful where the coachee is dealing with highly sensitive issues, be they emotional, political, strategic, or interpersonal For example, they may have a sensitive issue regarding the senior board member who hired them By taking away the need for the coachee to express the details of their knowledge and experiences, they can roam freely through their solutions without concerning themselves with the appropriateness... silences, and intervene to push the coachee to reconnect with the moment, bringing them back to it and keeping anyone else silent If they can revisit the moment they are often astounded by the range of emotions experienced.” Emotion, once registered (and whether expressed or not), is a key driver for change Silence and emotion are a facilitators of awesome power There is another lesson from the session... meet their defined targets Of the three instruments, silence is the most effective Silence When a coachee makes a discovery, this psychological breakthrough in perception, or catharsis, is wholly internal Even if the coach is speaking, the contribution of the coach to the actual event is insignificant Silence is therefore the dominant of the triad of the principal instruments Silence enables the coachee... problem, where would be the best place for me to start now? Here, the challenge is “discounting” the enormity of the issue and is very likely to get a reaction In this case, luckily perhaps, the effect is to accept action The coach’s question is designed to get the coachee to dissociate emotionally from the issue and appeals to their ability to “observe” the problem from outside and at the 8 Introduction... Dilts, John Abulafia, and my colleagues in the Coaching Foundation, Steve Breibart and Sir John Whitmore I am also grateful to Steve for his paper on the historical evolution of coaching and for many Web references given in the appendices A number of highly respected and productive people offered to read and offer comments on my drafts and they each have my gratitude and heartfelt thanks They are Adrienne... Adcock inspires the creative spirit and its expression (as so wonderfully demonstrated for the public, in her art) and she v Performance Coaching continues to quietly support me, steady and true to friendship Other friends inspire even in their absence; knowing that their love persists is a great comfort Those who knowingly, or otherwise, contributed to this book include Anne Robinson, Chris Stumpff, . Conversations and Meta-Coaching
Performance
Coaching
The Handbook for Managers, H. R.
Coaching
The Handbook for Managers, H. R.
Coaching
Professionals and Coaches
Angus. questions for
their coachees. They bombard them, hoping to find a weakness of
either perception or thinking that they may attack and cure. The
performances
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