[...]... We must start by recognizing our self-defeating behaviors and their root causes, because only once we truly get honest about our relationship with money can we overcome and www.BroadwayBooks.com Klon_9780385531016_3p_all_r1.qxp 12 10/7/09 1:56 PM Page 12 MIND OVER MONEY reverse our limiting or self-destructive financial beliefs and behaviors and develop healthier, more productive ones Overcoming the... up having no real concept of money I’ve walked around my entire life thinking, “Oh, money s no big deal, unless you’re running out, and then you panic.” The concept of making money work for you or knowing how to properly handle it that was beyond me Allison’s confusion over money persisted for years and years As an adult, she pushed herself to work hard to earn the money she needed to be independent... Klon_9780385531016_3p_all_r1.qxp 14 10/7/09 1:56 PM Page 14 MIND OVER MONEY effects of financial flashpoints on our thinking patterns and our behavior Throughout the book, we’ll be drawing on stories shared by people who’ve already done the work to resolve their own unfinished business around money, allowing them to heal, transform their lives, and feel at peace in their relationship with money regardless of ever-changing external... spiral, and that won’t help at all www.BroadwayBooks.com To purchase a copy of Mind over Money visit one of these online retailers: Also available as an Audiobook Read by Brad Klontz www.BroadwayBooks.com ... uncover an underlying logic to the baffling, contradictory, often frightening, adult world And it is from these childhood interpretations of financial flashpoint events that we develop a set of beliefs about money, called money scripts, that shape the way we think about and interact with money as adults Whether or not these interpretations are accurate or rational is not the point; the source of money. .. Remember the human givens? Here’s where those innate resources come in By consciously and deliberately drawing on our empathy, imagination, emotions, and rationality—all our inborn strengths—we can not only change our relationship with money but also defeat the power money holds over us One financial planner we work with has discovered that for himself: stuart: I realized what had controlled my life... ashamed I trace much of the problem I’ve had with money as an adult to those conflicting messages about money Being totally baffled by all things financial How do you know there’s enough? What is important to spend money on, and what isn’t? What’s the reality, the beautiful building or the horrible apartment inside? I just wanted to ignore the whole issue of money growing up and then later as an adult After... education, religion, race, gender, and class) Next, we’ll explore money scripts, the assumptions or beliefs about money what it means and how it works—that each of us takes away from our financial flashpoint experiences Then we’ll talk about the unhealthy behaviors—the money disorders—that result You’ll then learn to recognize your own money scripts (and the unfinished business related to them), their... them money but always with strings attached In addition to using money to control his children, he also financially enabled them They became dependent on handouts from Dad and constricted by all the conditions that went along with them allison: From the time my mother and stepfather got married, when I was almost seven, they’ve always been what they call “behind the eight ball.” They never discussed money. .. Klon_9780385531016_3p_all_r1.qxp 6 10/7/09 1:56 PM Page 6 MIND OVER MONEY climb up the corporate ladder Grateful for the certainty and the structure, she was happy to go along—until he decided to divorce her, leaving her destitute and alone Everything went fine until the day he came home and told me he wanted a divorce He took advantage of my financial ignorance He told me that we needed to save money and that his lawyer could . Cataloging-in-Publication Data Klontz, Brad. Mind over money / Brad Klontz and Ted Klontz. — 1st ed. p. cm. 1. Finance, Personal—Psychological aspects. 2. Money Psychological. 1:55 PM Page iii Copyright © 2009 by Brad Klontz and Ted Klontz All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Broadway Books, an imprint of the