3.1. Comparison in referential level of equivalence between the source text and the target text based on J. House’s model through lexical means
3.1.3. Misleading of connotative and denotative meaning
ST TT
E.g.
1
His lawyer, my good friend and relation, Clarence Choate Clark, Esq., now of the District of Columbia bar, in asking me to edit the manuscript, based his request on a clause in his client's will which empowered my eminent cousin to use the discretion in all matters pertaining to the preparation of
“Lolita” for print. Mr. Clark's decision may have been influenced by the fact that the editor of his choice had just been awarded the Poling Prize for a modest work (“Do the Senses make Sense?”) wherein certain morbid states and perversions had been discussed.
(p. 3)
Khi yêu cầu tôi biên tập những trang này, luật sư của ông ta, Ngài Clarence Choate Clark, nay là thành viên của luật sư đoàn miền Columbia , cũng là bạn và bà con của tôi, dựa trên một điều khoản trong di chúc của thân chủ của ông trao toàn quyền cho người anh họ lỗi lạc của tôi tiến hành mọi sự chuẩn bị cần thiết cho việc in ấn cuốn “Lolita”. Quyết định của ông Clark có thể là do người biên tập mà ông chọn vừa được tặng giải thưởng Poling về một tác phẩm khiêm tốn (“Do the Senses Make Sense?”) trong đó có bàn đến một số trạng thái bệnh hoạn và loạn dâm.
Comment:
The first mismatch that clearly stands out in the TT and the ST is the phrase ―The District of Columbia‖. The difference in denotative meaing from both texts can be proved in this case. In fact, the
readers of the ST can understand that ―the District of Columbia‖
means the capital of Washington. However, the readers of the TT cannot grasp the picture of what ―miền Columbia‖ refers to in reality. This leads to the gap in the understanding of the denotative meaing between two texts.
Another mismatch is when translating ‗asking‘ into ―yêu cầu‖. The truth is that Clark is John Ray‘s good friend and relation as stated in this sentence. Therefore, Clark is not in a superior relationship with John Ray, so that it is impossible to use ―yêu cầu‖. This makes the readers conclude that there is a clear hierarchy of power between Clark and John Ray, which is the misleading information from the ST.
Moreover, the readers might wonder who John Ray‘s eminent cousin is. After reading the Vietnamese version, the readers seem to have a picture of four characters:
- John Ray is the person who writes the note.
- Humbert is the prisoner and the writer
- Clark is Humbert‘s lawyer and John Ray‘s friend and relative.
- John Ray‘s counsin was empowered to use the discretion in all matters pertaining to the preparation of ―Lolita‖ for print.
Actually, in the ST, there are only three people: John Ray, Humbert and Clark. Clark is John Ray‘s relative or cousin.
E.g.
2
…its cause and purpose would have continued to come under my reading lamp. (p. 3)
…nguyên nhân và mục đích của tội đó ắt sẽ tiếp tục là một bí mật hoàn toàn nếu số phận không mang tập hồi ức này đến đặt dưới ngọn đèn biên tập của tôi.
Comment:
The translating ―reading lamp‖ into ―ngọn đèn biên tập” makes a considerable influence on how the manuscript is edited. The readers may feel that John Ray has made a number of changes in the manuscript; however, he said that he had just made a few changes. In fact, the editor, John Ray keeps almost everything original.
E.g.
3
While “Haze” only rhymes with the heroine's real surname, her first name is too closely interwound with the inmost fiber of the book to allow one to alter it… (p. 3)
Trong khi “Haze” chỉ vần với họ thật của nữ nhân vật chính thôi, thì tên cô(1) lại quyện chặt vào thớ cảm xúc sâu kín của cuốn sách đến độ không cho phép ai thay đổi nó
Comment:
Fiber means a material such as cloth or rope that is made from a mass of natural or artificial threads. In the sentence ―her first name is too closely interwound with the inmost fiber of the book‖, Nabokov means that the presence of this character in this novel is essential. Literally, her presence together with other main characters forms a tight string throughout the novel.
E.g.
4
Indeed, the robust philistine who is conditioned by modern conventions into accepting without qualms a lavish array of four-letter words in a banal novel, will be quite shocked by their absence here. (p. 4)
Quả thật, kẻ phàm tục kiên cường được những ước lệ hiện đại luyện cho quen thói chấp nhận không chút đắn đo hàng loạt chữ tục trắng trợn tràn ngập trong những cuốn tiểu thuyết tầm thường , ắt sẽ phẫn nộ khi không thấy chúng ở đây.
Comment:
The word ―robust‖ - ―kiên cường” creates a wrong image of the philistine that the writer would like to convey. ―Robust‖ in English provides the readers with a negative meaning, meanwhile in the TT, the readers can imagine the character with positive meaning.
E.g.
5
If, however, for this paradoxical prude's comfort, an editor attempted to dilute or omit scenes that a certain type of mind might call
“aphrodisiac” (see in this respect the monumental decision rendered December 6, 1933, by Hon. John M.
Woolsey in regard to another, considerably more outspoken, book), one would have to forego the publication of “Lolita” altogether, since those very scenes that one might ineptly accuse of sensuous existence of their own, are the most strictly functional ones in the development of a tragic tale tending unswervingly to nothing less than a moral apotheosis. (p. 4)
Nhưng nếu để chiều theo cái kẻ làm ra vẻ tiết hạnh một cách ngược đời ấy, một biên tập viên tìm cách pha loãng hoặc tước bỏ những cảnh mà một loại đầu óc nào đó có thể gọi là “kích dục” (về phương diện này, xin xem phán quyết trọng đợi do Ngài John Woolsey tuyên đọc ngày 6 tháng Chạp năm 1933 đối với một cuốn sách khác còn thẳng thừng hơn nhiều(2)), thì tất phải từ bỏ hoàn toàn việc xuất bản “Lolita” vì chính những cảnh mà người ta có thể kết tội quàng xiên rằng tự thân chúng chứa một hiện sinh nhục cảm, lại đích thị là những cảnh có tác dụng triệt để nhất trong diễn biến của một câu chuyện bi thảm luôn kiên định hướng tới tôn vinh đạo đức.
Comment:
The TT fails to convey the true meaning of the lexical items the writer uses: ―existence” and ―the most strictly functional ones‖, which makes the readers find it hard to understand what it is about in the text.
E.g.
6
He is ponderously capricious (p. 4) Tính khí ông ta vừa thất thường vừa tẻ ngắt
Comment:
In this sentence, ponderously modifies capricious. The purpose of using the adverb ―ponderously‖ before the adjective ―capricious‖ is to show how sudden the changes in his attitude or behavior are. The way the translator translate makes the readers misunderstand the personality of the character. In particular, the TT enables the reader to build up an inaccurate picture of the character the writer wants to describe.
E.g.
7
He is abnormal. He is not a gentleman. (p. 4)
Ông ta bất bình thường, ông ta không phải là người hào hoa phong nhã.
Comment:
Here is what Humbert describes himself:
―Let me repeat with quiet force: I was, and still am, despite mes malheurs, an ex-ceptionally handsome male; slow-moving, tall, with soft dark hair and a gloomy but all the more seductive cast of demeanor. Exceptional virility often reflects in the sub-ject‘s displayable feature a sullen and congested something that pertains to what he has to conceal. And this was my case. Well did I know, alas, that I could obtain at the snap of my fingers any adult female I chose; in fact, it had become quite a habit with me of not being too attentive to women lest they come toppling, bloodripe, into my cold lap. Had I been a franỗais moyen with a taste for flashy ladies, I
might haveeasily found, among the many crazed beauties that lashed my grim rock, creatures far more fascinating than Valeria. My choice, however, was prompted by considerations whose essence was, as I realized too late, a piteous compromise.‖ (p. 16)
The translator uses the word ―hào hoa phong nhã‖ might mislead the manner of the man whose name is Humbert. ―Hào hoa phong nhã‖ seems to have a more positive meaning than its true meaning within the novel.
E.g.
8
[…] for in this poignant personal study there lurks a general lesson;
the wayward child, the egotistic mother, the panting maniac, […](p.
4)
[…] vì trong nghiên cứu cá nhân xót xa này, ẩn chứa một bài học phổ quát; đứa trẻ ngang ngạnh, người mẹ ích kỉ, gã quỉ ám hổn hển, […]
Comment:
―Study‖ is defined as portrayal in literature or another art form of an aspect of behaviour or character in Oxford dictionaries. If the noverl is a research of its own writer, Humbert in the end has to discover new facts or information thorough careful analysis.
However, ―Lolita‖ is literally considered as a story to show Humbert‘s repentance or the Confession of a White Widowed Male.
Consequently, ―personal study‖ in this case cannot be a research project.
E.g.
9
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, exhibit number one is what the seraphs, the misinformed, simple, noble-winged seraphs, envied. Look at this tangle of thorns. (p. 5)
Thưa quí ông quí bà bồi thẩm, tang vật số một là cái mà những thiên thần thượng đẳng, những thiên thần ngây ngô, chất phác với đôi cánh cao quí, thèm muốn. Xin hãy
nhìn mớ gai chằng chịt này.
Comment:
In this case, the way the translator uses lexical items in the TT gives a distorted picture of the seraphs in the readers‘ mind. According to Oxford Advanced Learner‘s Dictionary, ―misinformed‖ means ―to give somebody wrong information about something‖ and ―envy‖
means ―to wish you had the same qualities, possessions, opportunities, etc. as somebody else‖.
E.g.
10
Elderly American ladies leaning on their canes listed towards me like towers of Pisa. Ruined Russian princesses, who could not pay my father, bought me expensive bonbons. (p. 6)
Những bà già người Mĩ chống gậy ngả người về phía tôi như những tòa tháp nghiêng Pisa. Những bà quận chúa Nga lụn bại, không còn khả năng để bao cha tôi, mua cho tôi những gói kẹo đắt tiền.
Comment:
Humbert‘s father is the manager of the hotel not the male prostitute.
The word ―pay‖ is translated into ―bao‖, which creates a bad impression on Humbert‘s father and misleads the information about his childhood.
E.g.
11
Annabel was, like the writer, of mixed parentage: half-English, half-Dutch, in her case. (p. 7)
Giống như tác giả những dòng này, Annabel cũng là con lai: bố Anh, mẹ Hà Lan.
Comment:
In this case, based on the ST, there is no evidence to show whether his father is English or Dutch. However, in the TT, the translator
seems to assure that her father is English and her mother is Dutch.
This is unable to convey the true meaning of Annabel‘s origin compared to the ST.
E.g.
12
… and then I see Annabel in such general terms as: ―honey-colored skin,‖ ―think arms,‖ ―brown bobbed hair,” ―long lashes,‖ ―big bright mouth‖ (p. 7)
tôi hình dung Annabel dưới dạng vẻ có thể mô tả bằng những từ chung chung như: ―da mật ong‖, ―hai cánh tay mảnh dẻ‖, “tóc nâu bồng”, ―mi dài‖,―miệng rộng tươi rói‖) Comment:
“Bobbed hair” means a style of a woman's hair in which it is cut the same length all the way around. In the TT, the researcher is not sure whether the readers can get a picture of a girl with short hair or long hair. Therefore, the translator somewhat fails to convey the denotative meaning in this case.
E.g.
13
She would try to relieve the pain of love by first roughly rubbing her dry lips against mine; then my darling
would draw away with
a nervous toss of her hair, and then again come darkly near and let me feed on her open mouth, (p. 9)
Em ráng làm dịu bót nỗi khắc khoải yêu đương, trước hết bằng cách chà mạnh cặp môi khô vào môi tôi;
rồi người yêu dấu của tôi rời ra với một động tác bồn chồn , hất ngược tóc ra sau gáy, rồi lại lầm lì xáp tới, hé miệng cho tôi ngốn thỏa thuê Comment:
In the TT, nervous is an adjective to modify the action of toss of her hair, however, nervous is used to modify the action of moving in the ST.
E.g. The days of my youth, as I look Những ngày thanh xuân của tôi,
14 back on them, seem to fly away from me in a flurry of pale repetitive scraps like those morning snow storms of used tissue paper that a train passenger sees whirling in the wake of the observation car. In my sanitary relations with women I was practical, ironical and brisk.
(p. 9)
khi tôi nhìn lại, dường như bay khỏi tôi trong một xoáy lốc những mảnh nhờ nhạt lặp đi lặp lại không cùng, tựa những mớ giấy lụa nhàu nát quay cuồng thành một cơn bão tuyết ban mai mà một hành khách ngồi toa quan sát(1) có thể nhìn thấy phấp phới đằng sau đoàn tàu.
Trong những quan hệ mang tính vệ sinh với đàn bà, tôi bao giờ cũng thực dụng, mỉa mai và nhanh gọn.
Comment:
In the TT, the relationship between Humbert and women is compared with used tissue paper. In his memories, Lolita and other nymphets appear pure and beautiful. This way of translation conveys the misleading information regarding denotative and connotative meaning.
E.g.
15
Overtly, I had so-called normal relationships with a number of terrestrial women
having pumpkins or pears for breasts;
(p. 11)
Bề ngoài, tôi có những quan hệ gọi là bình thường với một số phụ nữ trần tục vú to như quả bầu hay trái lê;
Comment:
Literally, pumpkin is a large round vegetable with thick orange skin.
The seeds can be dried and eaten and the soft flesh can be cooked as a vegetable or in sweet pies. In this case, the writer is trying to make
a comparison between women‘s breasts with pumpkins or pears.
This comparison helps the readers imagine how big they are.
However, in the TT, the translator gives a picture of ‗quả bầu‘, which has a long body, so the readers might not grasp the denotative and connotative meaning in this sentence.
E.g.
16