- Con dau co tiidng khac v6i bo me chong hay khong? - Con re co tiidng khac v6i vd, bo vd va me vd hay khong?
Neu doi uyen ifdng nao c6 ngay sinh, thang de phu hdp, ngu hanh can doi hai hoa thi c6 the ket hon v6i nhau. Neu nien menh khong tiidng xilng, chuyen hon nhan rat c6 the bi huy bo de tranh nhiing chuyen khong hay ve sau.
Ciu hoi 62: Tai sao kh6ng cUdi vac nSm K i m lau? Trildi:
Hon nhan la viec trong dai cua ca ddi ngUdi, c6 quan he t6i sU hifng thinh cua ca gia toe nen cac cu ngay xvfa rat can than trong viec chon thdi diem to chiJtc hon le. K h i xem tuoi cu6i, ngifdi ta thiidng can cii vao ngay sinh, thang de cua c6 gai, tranh cifdi hoi vao nam K i m lau vi cho r i n g cifdi hoi vao nam nay la khong tot.
Cach xac dinh tuoi K i m lau cua nQ nhuf sau:
L a y tuoi nQ gi6i trvf di 9 hoac boi so cua 9 sao cho so con lai nho hdn 10. Neu so dif la 1, 3, 6, 8 thi nam do la nam K i m lau.
Thuc ra, chiia c6 each ly giai cu the tai sao khong diidc cU6i vao nam K i m lau. C h i biet r i n g co nhan truyen lai nhif the va ngUdi sau CTI the tuan theo. Ngifdi ta cho r i n g : neu ciidi vao nam K i m lau (nam tuoi cua nii) thi se gap nhieu r u i ro trong quan he vd chong, hon nhan de tan vd, kho c6 con, vd chong k h i c khau, luc due, hay cai CO... V i the, ngiidi ta tranh to chufc cifdi vao nam K i m lau. Tuy nhien, -co nhieu ngUdi cho r i n g : ke ca nam K i m lau v&n cudi difdc v6i dieu kien la phai qua ngay Dong chi.
Ciu hoi 63: Tai sao khong ciidi khi nha dang c6 tang? Tralcfi:
K h i nha dang c6 tang thi ngtfdi ta kieng to chile cac
cuoc vui. Viec cxidi xin la viec "hy" nen diidng nhien phai
hoan lai, chd den khi het tang mdi difdc to chile. NgUdi xiia yeu cau: con cai phai de tang cha me 3 nam, chau de tang ong ba 1 nam. Ngoai ra con yeu cau cu the thdi han de tang v6i nhiing ngildi khac trong gia dinh... Nhieu khi trong gia dinh c6 ong (ba) mat da qua mot nam nhvfng hang chau v^n ehila difdc to chile cildi xin, ay la bcii vi bo me la ngiidi dilng ra to chile eildi cho con cai, ma bo me ehila het tang thi con cai ciing ehila dildc eifdi.
Nha dang eo tang ma v^n to chile cac cuoc vui thi se bi thien ha che ciidi, cho la "bat hieu", khach mdi se khong den dil. Vay nen, nhat thiet phai chd het tang thi mdi to chile ciidi hoi. Ngay nay, yeu cau ve thdi han de tang khong con k b i t khe nhii trildc. Qua gio dau ong (ba) la cac chau trong nha c6 the lam le thanh hon.
Chinh vi dieu kieng ky "khong ciidi khi nha dang c6 tang" nen trong cuoc song con eo hinh thilc ciidi chay tang. K h i trong nha c6 ngildi om s i p mat (hoac c6 ngildi da mat nhiing chila phat tang) thi lap tile nha trai mang l i vat sang nha gai xin ciidi. D a m ciidi diidc tien hanh nhanh chong trong npi bo hai gia dinh. K h a c h mdi chi gidi han la nhiing ngildi ruot thit hoac that than thiet. Cirdi gap nhiing v^n phai ed du cac le xin dau, don dau, yet cao gia tien, 1§ Td hong... L i vat eUdi xin liie nay thiidng ddn sd ehil khong cau ky. Nhifng gid don dau
n h a t t h i e t v a n p h a i la gid Hoang dao. Cong viec ciidi ga xong t h i m 6 i hit dau p h a t tang. Co dau, chii re m6i t r a t h a n h t h a n h vien cua gia d i n h , c h i u t a n g che n h i l moi con chau khac. Co dau va c h u re k h o n g dUdc quan he v6i
n h a u t r o n g vong 100 ngay sau d a m cxidi chay tang.
C i u hoi 64: T a i sac nha gai kieng mcfi cudi k h i chifa to chiic
A n hoi?
Tra lai:
Day la dieu k i e n g k y d a n h cho n h a gai. V i dam cifdi
t h i i d n g CO le C h a m ngo (c6 n d i goi la " d a m ngo"), sau do
la a n hoi, r o i den le cMdi. Ngay cham ngo, h a i ben se ban
bac ve ngay an h o i va ngay to chtJtc h o n le. C h a m ngo chi la ngay gia d i n h h a i ben c h i n h t h i i c d i l a i . N e u cham ngo r o i ma k h o n g cu6i (vi ly do nao do) t h i c i i n g k h o n g sao. Vay nen d a n gian mdi c6 cau: "Cdi t r a u d a m ngo la t r a u bo d i " . N h i i n g da an hoi r o i t h i tiic la d a m ciidi se chSc chan dudc to chile. Neu da an hoi ma mot t r o n g h a i ben doi y, muo'n b u y bo hon le t h i se b i moi n g i i d i che ciidi.
T h i i d n g n h a t r a i se a n d i n h ngay cu6i t r e n cd s d diidc
siJ thoa t h u a n , dong y cua n h a gai. Ngay a n hoi, h a i ben se a n d i n h mot I a n cuoi ve ngay c i i d i . T n l 6 c l l a n hoi,
n h a t r a i c6 the cam t h i e p di m d i cildi ho hang, ban be xa
gan. A n hoi xong l a i ve m d i tiep. N h U n g n h a gai ma m d i cif6i triidc k h i c6 le an hoi t h i se h i cho la "v6 duyen", "chiJa ai hoi ma da m d i cildi". Va l a i , p h a i c6 le A n hoi t h i n h a gai m d i c6 cau, che, thuoc... d i bieu ho hang, ban be. Va p h a i c6 le A n hoi t h i n h a gai m d i biet c h i n h xac ve 90
ngay, gic! to chile hon le. N h i e u k h i , vao d u n g ngay an hoi, n h a t r a i l a i de n g h i thay doi ve ngay, gid ciidi (vi jiha t r a i l u o n dUde quyen c h u dong). Liic ay ma n h a gai (}a t r o t mdi cildi r o i t h i ro la c h i n g r a l a m sao. T u y nhien, ly do c h i n h k h i e n p h i a n h a gai k h o n g mdi cUdi k h i chifa c6 l l A n hoi la sd v6 duyen. -
Cau hoi 65/Vi sao lai kieng do vd do vat trong dam cUdi? Traldi:
D a m ciidi la ngay v u i cua h a i ho. Ngay xiia, mot n h a
CO dam cxidi t h i ngifdi ta mdi ca lang. Neu c6 dau, chu re
la ngvfdi cung mot l a n g t h i d a m ciidi cang v u i gap boi. Ngay ciidi nen dong ngUdi, chuyen do vd cac do v a t rat d i xay ra. T u y n h i e n , ca gia c h u va k h a c h deu r a t chii y viec giut g i n cac do vat v i neu de xay r a do vd la diem k h o n g tot. K y n h a t la viec vd giidng, vd coc, gSy doi chiec diia. N e u t r o n g d a m ciidi ma c6 chuyen n h i i vay t h i ngUdi t a r a t lo sd, t h a m c h i la p h a i l a m le giai h a n . Chuyen do vd diidc coi la diem bao cuoc h o n n h a n k h o n g suon se, de chia ly, do vd.
Cau hoi 66:Tai sao lai phai kieng de me c6 dau difa con gai ve
nha chong?
Traldi: ,
T r o n g dam cudi, c h i c6 bo c6 dau diia con gai ve n h a chong, con me c6 dau t h i chi t i e n r a den cvfa. N g u y e n do
cua tuc nay la: diidi che do phong k i e n , con cai t h u d n g
ket hon theo k i e u "cha me dat dau con ngoi day". T r o n g n h i e u gia d i n h , ngiidi cha quyet d i n h moi viec, ngifdi me
cil the ma l a m theo c h i l k h o n g dUdc c6 y k i e n gi. V i the,
xay r a trifdng hdp: sau dam c6 nha t r a i k h o n g t i m thay CO dau. H6a r a , ngii'di me t h i i d n g con con t h d dai, sd con gai d i l a m dau kho v i hon n h a n ep buoc, nen t r o n g k h i h a i ho dang v u i m i f n g t h i h a i me con l a i 6m n h a u khoc
16c, buon t u i . 0 mot so" ndi, b6'c6 dau cung k h 6 n g dxla con gai ve n h a chong v i q u a n niem rkng: con m i n h da ga ban
cho n h a ngiidi, "con gai la con ngifdi t a " chijf gid k h 6 n g p h a i la con m i n h nQa.
T h d i nay, h6n n h a n tu do, t r a i gai ket h 6 n v6i n h a u
t r e n cd sci t i n h yeu doi lila, cha me chi t h a m gia g6p y, chi bao. C h u y e n "cha me dat dau con ngoi day" da k h 6 n g con xay r a n h i e u , neu k h 6 n g m u 6 n n6i la h i e m k h i xay
ra. Do do, t r o n g dam c\idi k h 6 n g con canh me con c6 dau
6m n h a u khoc 16c t h a m t h i e t nfla. T u y n h i e n , tuc k i e n g me CO dau diia con gai ve n h a chong t h i v&n dUdc moi ngiidi t u a n theo v i da la tuc le t h i k h 6 n g gi x6a bo. T h i n h thoang cung c6 mot v a i dam cudi bo tuc k i e n g nay, n h i i n g s6' d6 k h o n g n h i e u .
Cau hoi 67: V i sao lai kieng me chong cham mSt con dau k h i
doan ru6c dau \vla. ve den nha?
Trildi:
K h i doan rvidc dau ve t 6 i dau ngo, me chong se cam
b i n h voi l a n h m a t d i cho khac de c6 dau biidc vao nha.
j)ieu nay c6 y: me chong v a n m u o n n d m quyen h a n h trong nha, k h 6 n g m u 6 n con dau thay quyen. Theo quan jjiem dan gian: b i n h v6i la bieu h i e n cua cai, t a i san trong nha. H i n h thvfc n 4 m giQ b i n h v6i la n i m gii3 t a i san. N g i i d i t a ciing k h 6 n g bao gid de b i n h v6i siit mieng v i sd k i n h te gia d i n h sa siit. N h i e u n d i n g i i d i t a con quet them voi l e n m i e n g b i n h v i t i n r i n g : voi cang day t h i cua cai t r o n g n h a cang n h i e u .
Ngay nay, tuc an t r a u da m a i mot dan. N h i e u gia d i n h k h 6 n g c6 b i n h v 6 i t h i me chong c6 the c^m c h u m chia khoa n h a r o i l a n h mat. K h i h a i ho da yen v i dUdc mot luc t h i me chong m6i x u a t h i e n de don c6 dau va d i chao, cam dn h a i ho. NgUdi ta con giai t h i c h viec me chong p h a i t a m l a n h m a t k h i con dau m 6 i ve t 6 i n h a la do sd k y via. Sau k h i con dau m 6 i l l gia t i e n n h a chong t h i me chong m6i x u a t hien.
Cau hoi 68: V i e c kieng k y vdi ba m6i, chu h6n, ngtfdi trai
giudng cho c6 dau, chii re la gi?
Traldi:
Trif6c k i a , t r o n g hon n h a n , ba m 6 i d6ng mot v a i t r o r a t quan t r o n g . K h i n g i i d i con t r a i ifng mot c6 gai nao d6 t h i se n h d ba m 6 l d a n h t i e n g vdi ben n h a c6 gai. N e u n h a CO gai to y l i n g t h u a n t h i ben n h a t r a i m d i m a n g cdi t r a u den de " n o i chuyen". Ba m 6 i cung dong t h d i la ngiidi m a i m6i hon n h a n . K h i t r o n g nha c6 con cai den t u d i d i i n g vd ga chong t h i cha me se n h d ba m o i t i m n g i i d i m 6 n dang ho doi de k e n dau, k e n re. N g i i d i t a t h i i d n g t i m den
nhijtng ba moi "mat tay" de nhd cay. Ba moi m a t tay la ngUdi mai mo'i t h a n h cong cho n h i e u doi t r a i gai nen vd nen chong va song h a n h phuc. Ba moi t h i i d n g la p h u nQ da luong t u o i , n h i e u k i n h nghiem song, con cai dong due, vd chong hoa hdp, each an d dUdc ngUdi t r o n g ho, ngoai lang quy men..., k y ' n g i i d i l a m moi ma vd chong khong song toan, sinh con mot be, hoac anh em, vd chong, bo me ngUdi do bat hoa. NgUdi ta con k y ngUdi l a m moi ma
CO each song ngoa ngoat, hay an dp vat, hay cai co vcti
moi ngUdi...
Doi v6i ngifdi l a m chu hon t h i cung c6 nhQng kieng ky nhu: vay. Ngoai r a , ngiidi l a m chu hon p h a i la ngifdi c6 t a i an noi, khong noi ngong, noi l i p , each cif xijf d i n h dac, dUdng hoang, h i n h thiic tiidng doi. C h u hon t h i f d n g la
ngiidi CO uy t i n va c6 moi quan he t h a n t h i e t v6i gia d i n h
CO dau, chu re. Ngifdi ta thufdng chon chu hon la dan ong
chii i t k h i chon p h u nut (trai ngUdc v6i viec t i m ba mo'i).
Ngifdi t r a i giiidng cho c6 dau, c h i i re n h a t t h i e t p h a i la ngUdi da c6 gia d i n h h a n h phuc, con cai c6 ca nep l l n te. To't n h a t la chon ngUdi con dan chau dong, l a m an phat dat. N e u bo' me chong c6 du dieu k i e n t r e n t h i t u t r a i chieu cho c6 dau, chu re. Hoac c6 the la mot ngiidi
khac t r o n g ho ( n h i i n g v S n p h a i dam bao d i i cac t i e u chi
tren). M o t so dieu k i e n g ky khac k h i chon ngiidi t r a i giUdng cung giong n h i i kieng k y k h i chon ba moi. Chieu phai t r a i phang, k i e n g t r a i lech. Bao gid cung la mot doi chieu m6i t r a i up vao n h a u . Viec k e n ngiidi t r a i chieu,
don giiidng x u a t phat t\l mUu cau h a n h phuc, mong
muon cuoc so'ng ciia doi vd chong t r e h a n h phuc dai l a u , con cai dong due, l a m an phat dat.
94
|u hoi 69: V i sao lai kieng don dau vao gid Hac dao?
Traloi:
Trong mot n a m luon c6 nhieu ngay tot cho viec to chiic cifcii hoi, nhiJng gid to chiic hon le t h i n h a t t h i e t phai la gid Hoang dao. N h a t r a i v i n gianh quyen chu dong t r o n g viec chon gid don dau. Sau k h i thong qua va diidc sU dong y cua nha gai t h i h a i ho se an d i n h gid chinh xac. Ca h a i ho deu p h a i c6 t r a c h n h i e m chap h a n h gid giac n g h i e m c h i n h . N e u don dau lech gid Hoang dao t h i se anh hifdng den h a n h phuc vd chong, gia d i n h d l tan vd hoac gap n h i i n g dieu r u i ro khac. D u n g gid Hoang dao t h i nha t r a i se bat dau x u a t phat de di don dau. Trifdc k h i d i don dau t h i nha t r a i t h i i d n g thSp hifdng de bao cao vdi to t i e n ve sii k i e n t r o n g dai nay. Doan nha t r a i k h i don difdc c6 dau ve cung p h a i t i n h toan sao cho kip gid Hoang dao. N e u de Id gid Hoang dao t h i se t h i e t thoi cho doi vd chong m6i cii6i. D a i dien h a i ho l u o n
CO ngUdi de y ve mat gid giac de nh^c nhd moi ngifdi sao
cho cac t h u tuc dien r a d u cac biidc nhUng v i n dam bao dung gid.
Cau hoi 70: T a i sao lai phai kieng khong de ngitdi la tuy tien
xong phong c6 dau, chu re?
Tralai:
Sau k h i don phong, t r a i chieu, t r a n g t r i phong c6 dau - chu re, ngifdi ta se khep ciia phong l a i va khong cho ai vao t r o n g do niia. 6 mot v a i ndi con c6 ngiidi d i i n g canh
de ngan tre nho hay nhiJng ngifdi khac vi to mo ma tuy tien vao phong. Co dau, chii re se la ngUdi xong phong dau tien k h i doan riidc dau ve tdi nha, sau do mdi la ban
be CO dau va nhiing ngiidi ho hang khac.
(!) mot vai dia pljiidng, me chong la ngifdi d i t con dau vao xong phong cvfdi. Sau khi ngoi nghi ngdi mot lat, c6 dau cam khay trau di mdi khdp hai ho. O mot vai dan toe thieu so lai c6 ong cu ho nha trai (thifdng la triidng ho) tay cam hifdng dan c6 dau chii re vao phong cifdi. Luc nay, ong cu mdi trai chieu, sau do rot chen riJdu mdi c6 dau, chii re uong roi ra ngoai, khep ciia phong lai. Noi chung, du d dan toe nao t h i ngiidi ta cung kieng de ngifdi la tuy tien xong phong c6 dau, chu re.
Phdn thvt ba
M6T S6 P H O N G T U C , T A P Q U A N
T R O N G T A N G l l VA N H O N G Dlf U K I £ N G K Y