How will you benefit from studying at QUT Diploma and how you intend to be a successful student? The topic is really in two parts, one for each main paragraph: 1) 2) Benefits Being a successful student As the essay stands, there’s nothing really on benefits, while the second paragraph talks about the qualities of a successful student, but without relating these characteristics to the writer her/himself Here is a rewrite, using where possible material from the student’s essay The rewrite is shorter than the original because I have omitted some of the material, such as the reference to chocolate, as being irrelevant of obscue The rewrite is followed by comments on the original essay Paragraph Getting an opportunity to study at QUT Diploma for me is still a dream It will act as a gateway to university study The one year studying the Diploma, which will include six major communications subjects as well as two major English subjects, will I hope provide me with sufficient credits to make a smooth transition to university Furthermore, the small class size will enable me to interact more easily with teachers and fellow students, helping to develop my academic and language skills, as well as my confidence A further benefit is that, having completed the QUT Diploma, will will be able to move direct into the second year This will reduce the expense of study by cutting one year’s fees Paragraph There are many qualities that are required to be a successful student at university: punctuality, honesty and avoiding cheating in exams, paying attention and addressing questions to the teacher, completing assignments on time, getting on good terms with both teachers and fellow students I hope to combine all of these qualities in my study on the QUT Diploma, and to overcome any difficulties I may meet in following the course By this means, I hope to achieve my dream of successfully completing the Diploma and continuing on to further university study Comments Getting an opportunity to study at QUT Diploma for me is still an unrealistic dream I remember the mother in Forrest Gump the movie told her son:”Life was like a box of chocolates You never know what you’re gonna get.” As a person having a sweet tooth, it is an evident fact that I always choose to pick milk chocolate However, I have greater awareness of the learning environment at QUT being not an easily eaten sweet bar of chocolate Raw chocolate, a perfect embodiment of it, is so bitter that it may give you an unpleasant taste Nevertheless, nobody can deny it offers fantastic benefits to both physical and mental health.When it comes to QUT Diploma, it acts as a precursor to my studies in university An international student with some disadvantages of English I am, one year studying Diploma including six major Communication subjects and two major English subjects will provide me with sufficient merits for a smooth transition to university In terms of small class sizes, that it will be more convenient for me to interact with teachers and other colleagues opens up promising avenues for developing my academic and language skills and vitally, confidence The rewarding news is that I can attend directly the second year in university after finishing QUT Diploma, whereas the tuition fees of QUT is less expensive than that of the first year One of my teachers at school indicated that it is not outside the realm of possibility that I could hit a home run in my life I personally think that schools are too small for me to play baseball There is one thing I learnt from school that I find its role crucial for studying in university: a successful stundent is the one acknowledged by teachers By and large, there are numerous ways to classify students The one who is always on time is a punctual student The one who never cheats on the exam is a honest student The one who pays attention and addresses questions in class is an enthusiastic student The one who completes assignments is an industrious student The one who gets in good terms with teachers and acquaintances is a congenial student The one who can everything mentioned in advance is a successful student But to say it is not difficult to combine all these qualities and maintain them the whole semester is certainly an understatement To pursue abroad studying is both an opportunity and challenge to me No matter when fear grips me, I think of FEAR that is actually Forget Everything And Rise I believe that as soon as I overcome any fear, there will be no longer barriers to success ... teachers and acquaintances is a congenial student The one who can everything mentioned in advance is a successful student But to say it is not difficult to combine all these qualities and maintain... cheats on the exam is a honest student The one who pays attention and addresses questions in class is an enthusiastic student The one who completes assignments is an industrious student The one... teachers and other colleagues opens up promising avenues for developing my academic and language skills and vitally, confidence The rewarding news is that I can attend directly the second year