essays

Ver 1: The diagram illustrates how wasted bottles made from glass are recycled and delivered back to the store Overall, there are main stages in the whole glass bottle recycling process, beginning with collecting wasted jars and finishing with the delivery of the products for sale In the first stage, wasted glass jars are deposited at collection points where they are loaded on trucks to transport to a glass treatment plant In the second stage, several steps are taken in order to transform wasted glass to recycled products Firstly, bottles are washed under high-pressure water to remove any impurities, following that they are classified into categories based on the colour, namely clear, green and brown glass They are then transferred to glass factories in which they are crushed into debris In the next step, those pieces are melted in a glass-melting furnace at around 600 to 800 degree Celsius After that, recycled liquid glass together with new liquid glass are moulded into new products In the last stage, the glass is used to bottle different products, and then sent back to the supermarket ready for sale (185 words) Written by Thu An (C ự u h ọc sinh l p tháng 9/2014) Ver 2: Report Plan: Paraphrase paragraph: describe what the diagram shows, using some different vocabulary Summary paragraph: number of stages [3]; refer to first and last stages [bottles collected/new bottles to supermarkets/shops] Paragraph 3: stage Paragraph 4: stage Paragraph 5: stage The diagram illustrates the various stages in the recycling of waste glass bottles There are three main stages shown in the diagram, beginning with the collection of the used glass bottles and ending with the delivery of products in new bottles to retail outlets such as supermarkets In the first stage, waste bottles are deposited at collection points, where they are loaded onto trucks for delivery to a glass recycling facility Stage begins with the process of cleaning the bottles with high pressure water and they are then separated into clear, green and brown glass This is then broken into pieces in the glass factory and passed through a furnace, where they are burned at a temperature of 600 to 800 degrees Celsius This recycled glass is now in liquid form, and it is joined with new liquid glass ready for moulding into a bottle shape In the final stage, the new bottles are used for different products, ready for sale in supermarkets or shops 166 words Written by Ngoc Bach Khi thi IELTS, giám khảo không quan tâm xem câu trả lời hay ý kiến c bạn hay sai Quan trọng bạn đưa câu trả lời sát với câu hỏi đề bài, hỗ trợ ý liên quan trình bày cho mạch lạc, dễ hiểu Nên lập dàn ý trước viết Thường nên khuyên bạn học sinh nên dành phút lập dàn ý, phác trước ý định viết khổ thân Có thể note số "good vocabulary" liên quan đến chủ đề để lúc viết áp dụng cho tiện Ví dụ: People today not feel safe either at home or when they are out What are the causes? What are the solutions?" -> ESSAY PLAN: Introduction: repeat the idea that people feel unsafe – at home and outside important causes can be identified, but solutions can be adopted Paragraph 2: Cause 1: widening gap between rich and poor – increase in crime: Vietnam example –burglary and robbery Cause 2: increasing dangers on roads – increase in traffic – example: children can’t play in the streets Paragraph 3: Solution 1: tackle poverty – provide job training – help people into employment Solution 2: more surveillance cameras to help police enforce safety on public transport and on roads – speed limits, stop careless driving Conclusion: repeat ideas in introduction, using some different words what course it is (or, would be) where you would it what you would learn in that course and explain why you would like to this course ANSWER Well, speaking of the course I’d like to do, I would say that it’s an English course Today, English is considered to be the most important language in the world That’s why it became one of the compulsory subjects and we now have to study English from elementary onwards I’d like to get admitted to the Foreign Trade University which offers a professional course in Business English They have a good reputation for teaching this course effectively to a high standard As I have other classes in the morning, I would like to enroll in the afternoon course Also, the course fee is both cheap and convenient for me to pay using my bank account There are so many reasons why I’d like to enroll in an English course First of all, English is an international language, hence, having a knowledge of English can help people around the world to communicate better Second, it also gives us countless opportunities to become more acquainted with other cultures We depend on English to keep up to date with the latest news from all over the world, since almost all the books and magazines are written in this language Finally, learning English can really help us in our careers and enhance our CVs, as these days, many firms need good office employees to conduct international business VOCABULARY 1) compulsory: [adjective] that must be done because of a rule or law Example: In some countries, it is compulsory to attend school until the age of 16 2) onwards: [adverb] continuing from a particular time Example: I will be in my office from 8:00 am onwards, until I leave at 6:00 in the evening 3) reputation: [noun] the opinion that people have about someone/something is like, based on what has happened in the past Example: The restaurant enjoys an international reputation for the best Thai cuisine 4) countless: [adjective] very many; too many to be counted or mentioned Example: The teacher has warned him countless times to pay attention in class 5) acquainted: [adjective] familiar with something having seen, heard or read it Example: The students are already acquainted with the history of our country, having studied it at elementary level 6) keep up to date with: [expression] be informed about the latest information Example: I watch the news on TV every day, in order to keep up to date with the political situation 7) CVs: [noun] short descriptions of your education and qualifications, which you give to an employer when you go for an interview Example: Students should make sure that they write good CVs, to help them when they apply for a job 8) firm: [noun] company Example: She works for a firm of lawyers in Paris 9) conduct: [verb] organize or a particular activity Example: The school has decided to conduct all its classes in English BÀI CHỮA CHO ĐỀ 08/11/2014 (CHỦ ĐỀ CRIME) 08/11/2014 Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person’s nature Discuss both views and give your opinion ANSWER It is generally believed that inborn characteristics are the reasons leading to criminal problems However, I would argue that a [1] crime is an undeniable consequence of social issues and poverty There is a belief that a criminal is the result of a person's nature Firstly, a person who is cruel easily commits a crime In particular, a small child bullying other boys or girls at school is more likely to commit murder or have take violent actions in years to come Secondly, bad characteristics including laziness and selfishness could also build up breed [2] future offenders It cannot be denied that a number of youngsters, instead of working to earn a living, choose to steal from other people It seems that people who are born with an inborn negative nature are likely to be accused of [3] crimes Nevertheless, it seems to me that social issues and poverty are primary reasons behind a [1] crime First and foremost, problems in society could lead to an increasing number of crimes For example, unemployment pushes an array of people to work illegally to earn their livings As a consequence, the number of offenders has climbed in recent years Furthermore, the situation of poverty is also claimed to be one of the main reasons leading to unlawful problems [4] criminal acts It is undeniable that if their standard of living cannot allow people to meet basic needs, theywould will pursue [5] illegal activities to make money so that they could support their family Consequently, criminal issues would become increasingly serious In conclusion, while a number of people think that a person's nature is the primary cause of crimes, I would argue that they are the results of social issues and poverty Written by An an (lớp t9/2014) 1.‘Crime’ is an important noun which has countable and uncountable uses In this sentence, you use it to refer to illegal activity in general This is an uncountable use, so delete ‘a’ You will see from the dictionary reference that the activity is uncountable, but an act or action that is illegal is a crime = countable See: http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/crime? q=crime 2.I have suggested a change to vocabulary here We ‘build up’ some characteristics or skills: http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/buildup_2?q=build+up However, see number in this reference: http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/breed_1? q=breed 3.I think that ‘ likely to commit crimes’ expresses your idea accurately 4.You mean here: ‘ leading to criminal acts’ or ‘ leading to lawbreaking’ See: http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/lawbr eaking?q=lawbreaking 5.This is another vocabulary suggestion The word combination ‘do activities’ is not often used in English Bài nhận xét cho điểm (Mình khơng phải giám khảo nên điểm số cho mang tính chất giúp người tham khảo) Task Response: Bài viết thảo luận quan điểm đưa quan điểm thân xuyên suốt (ở phần mở bài, thân bài, kết luận) Đoạn đưa lý "why some people think that those who have a bad nature commit crime" Đã giải thích đưa ví dụ minh họa cụ thể Ý "It seems that people who are born with an inborn negative nature are likely to be accused of crimes." -> cực đoan, xem sửa lại viết Đoạn thảo luận "unemployment and the related reason, poverty, are the main causes of crime" đưa giải thích cụ thể -> Band 7.5~8.0 Coherence and cohesion: Mở bài, thân bài, kết luận liên kết với tốt Câu topic sentence kết nối với mở bài, kết luận Ngồi cịn nêu ý trung tâm đoạn văn "Firstly/Secondly/First and foremost/Furthermore" giúp giám khảo dễ dàng thấy ý hỗ trợ đoạn văn Ngồi cịn có thêm số từ nối giúp giải thích ý tốt "In particular/As a consequence/Consequently" "It cannot be denied and It is undeniable " -> bị lặp từ -> bỏ thay "it is clear that "-> Band 7.5~8.0 Lexical resource: Từ vựng chủ đề crime tham khảo đây: http://www.dcielts.com/ielts-vocabulary/crime-vocabulary-andexercises/ Từ vựng đa phần dùng xác phù hợp với ngữ cảnh -> band 7.5 Grammatical range and accuracy: Bài viết đơn giản khơng có lỗi sai ngữ pháp Các cấu trúc sử dụng đa dạng phù hợp ->band 8.0 Bài viết lại Đa phân nâng cấp topic vocabulary Many people consider that innate characteristics are responsible for the fact that some people choose to turn to a career of crime However, I would argue that crime is a consequence of social issues and poverty There is a belief that a person’s nature determines whether or not they become a criminal Firstly, they argue that an individual who is cruel turns to crime more easily than a kind person For instance, a child bullying other boys or girls at school may turn into a violent criminal in the future Secondly, bad characteristics such as laziness or selfishness could also breed future offenders, who seek to acquire easy money without working for it A number of youngsters choose to steal from others, instead of working hard to make an honest living These are strong reasons for thinking that those who have an inborn bad nature are more likely to break the law Nevertheless, it seems to me that social issues and poverty are the main causes behind crime There are many problems in society which might lead to an increase in the crime rate For example, unemployment pushes people into resorting to crime because they simply cannot find a job As a consequence, the number of offenders has climbed in many countries over recent decades Another reason is that, more broadly, poverty in general leads to a rise in crime If people not have enough money to make ends meet, they will be tempted to pursue illegal activities just to support themselves and their families In conclusion, while a number of people think that a person's nature is the primary cause of crimes, I would argue that they are the results of social issues and poverty Written by Ngoc Bach 291 words Ver 1: The diagram illustrates how wasted bottles made from glass are recycled and delivered back to the store Overall, there are main stages in the whole glass bottle recycling process, beginning with collecting wasted jars and finishing with the delivery of the products for sale In the first stage, wasted glass jars are deposited at collection points where they are loaded on trucks to transport to a glass treatment plant In the second stage, several steps are taken in order to transform wasted glass to recycled products Firstly, bottles are washed under high-pressure water to remove any impurities, following that they are classified into categories based on the colour, namely clear, green and brown glass They are then transferred to glass factories in which they are crushed into debris In the next step, those pieces are melted in a glass-melting furnace at around 600 to 800 degree Celsius After that, recycled liquid glass together with new liquid glass are moulded into new products In the last stage, the glass is used to bottle different products, and then sent back to the supermarket ready for sale (185 words) Written by Thu An (Cựu học sinh lớp tháng 9/2014) Ver 2: Report Plan: Paraphrase paragraph: describe what the diagram shows, using some different vocabulary Summary paragraph: number of stages [3]; refer to first and last stages [bottles collected/new bottles to supermarkets/shops] Paragraph 3: stage Paragraph 4: stage Paragraph 5: stage The diagram illustrates the various stages in the recycling of waste glass bottles There are three main stages shown in the diagram, beginning with the collection of the used glass bottles and ending with the delivery of products in new bottles to retail outlets such as supermarkets In the first stage, waste bottles are deposited at collection points, where they are loaded onto trucks for delivery to a glass recycling facility Stage begins with the process of cleaning the bottles with high pressure water and they are then separated into clear, green and brown glass This is then broken into pieces in the glass factory and passed through a furnace, where they are burned at a temperature of 600 to 800 degrees Celsius This recycled glass is now in liquid form, and it is joined with new liquid glass ready for moulding into a bottle shape In the final stage, the new bottles are used for different products, ready for sale in supermarkets or shops 166 words Written by Ngoc Bach Water consumption The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries The charts compare the amount of water used for agriculture industry and homes around the world and water use in Brazil and the Democratic Republic of Congo It is clear that global water needs rose significantly between 1900 and 2000 and that agriculture accounted for the largest proportion of water used We can also see that water consumption was considerably higher in Brazil than in the Congo In 1900 around 500km³ of water was used by the agriculture sector worldwide The figures for industrial and domestic water consumption stood at around one fifth of that amount By 2000 global water use for agriculture had increased to around 3000km³ industrial water use had risen to just under half that amount and domestic consumption had reached approximately 500km³ In the year 2000 the populations of Brazil and the Congo were 176 million and 5.2 million respectively Water consumption per person in Brazil at 359m³ was much higher than that in the Congo at only 8m³ and this could be explained by the fact that Brazil had 265 times more irrigated land (184 words band 9) Internatioal migration in UK The chart gives information about UK immigration emigration and net migration between 1999 and 2008 Both immigration and emigration rates rose over the period shown but the figures for immigration were significantly higher Net migration peaked in 2004 and 2007 In 1999 over 450000 people came to live in the UK while the number of people who emigrated stood at just under 300000 The figure for net migration was around 160000 and it remained at a similar level until 2003 From 1999 to 2004 the immigration rate rose by nearly 150000 people but there was a much smaller rise in emigration Net migration peaked at almost 250000 people in 2004 After 2004 the rate of immigration remained high but the number of people emigrating fluctuated Emigration fell suddenly in 2007 before peaking at about 420000 people in 2008 As a result the net migration figure rose to around 240000 in 2007 but fell back to around 160000 in 2008 (159)