few were from Lyme or Charmouth: Henry De La Beche, for instance, who had just moved to Broad Street with his mother and was but a few years older than me But most were from farther away, Bristol or Oxford or London I had never been in the company of educated gentlemen Sometimes Miss Elizabeth come with us, and that made it easier for me, for she was older and of their class, and could go between as needed When I was alone with them I was nervous at first, wondering how I was meant to act and what I could say But they treated me as a servant, and that was a part I could play easily enough— though I was a servant who spoke her mind sometimes, and surprised them It was always a little awkward with the gentlemen, though, and become more so as I grew older and my chest and hips rounder Then people begun to talk Maybe they would have talked less if I had been more sensible But something took hold of me when I begun to grow up, and I become a bit silly, as girls do when they’re leaving their childhoods behind I started to think about the gentlemen, and looked at their legs and the way they moved I begun to cry without knowing why, and shout at Mam when there was no reason to I begun to prefer Miss Margaret to the other Philpots, as she was more sympathetic to my moods She told me stories from the novels she read, and helped me try to make my hair prettier, and taught me to dance in the parlour at Morley Cottage —not that I would ever get to with a man Sometimes I stood outside the Assembly Rooms and watched them through the bay window, dancing under the glass chandeliers, and imagined it was me floating round in a silk gown I would get so upset I’d have to run along the Walk, which is the path the Day brothers built along the beach to link the two parts of the town It took me to the Cobb, where I could walk up and down and let the wind blow away my tears, with no one to follow and tut at my silliness Mam and Miss Elizabeth despaired over me, but they couldn’t fix me, for I didn’t think I was broke I was growing up, and it was hard It took two brushes with death, with a lady and a gentleman, before Miss Elizabeth pulled me out of the mud and I truly joined the adult world Both happened along the same stretch of beach, just at the end of Church Cliffs, before the shore curves towards Black Ven It was early spring, and I was walking along the beach at low tide, scanning for curies, thinking about one of the gentleman I had helped the day before who smiled at me with teeth as white as quartz I was so blinded by rocks and my thoughts that I didn’t see the lady till I almost stepped on her I stopped short, feeling a jolt in my stomach like when you’re carrying a kicking child away from something they want and their foot catches you