family: Asia and the Pacific 421 five generations might all live together; the wife had to serve her mother-in-law Women usually married outside their own villages This separated women from their own relatives and friends and increased their disadvantages within their husband’s homes A man might take several wives and concubines, and these women would have their own dominance hierarchy, with the first wife or the mother of the oldest son holding the highest rank Chinese couples were expected to produce children; a failure to have offspring was considered a betrayal of both living parents and dead ancestors Sons were the most desired children because they were the ones who would care for their parents in their old age Parents arranged marriages for their Children at play, China, ca 1368–1644; children were a favorite theme in Chinese art, symbolizing the desire of families to have many sons. (Freer Gallery of Art, Smithsonian Institution, Gift of Charles Lang Freer, F1916-60) children by consulting astrologers to find auspicious wedding partners and dates and by interrogating prospective in-laws about their financial situation Weddings were festive occasions, with large numbers of guests and lavish banquets Medieval Hindus in India divided themselves into four varnas, or social categories: Brahmin, the priest-scholars; Kshatriya, warriors; Vaishya, merchants and artisans; and Shudra, laborers These groupings were further subdivided into many castes that defined the kind of work a person did Caste status was inherited from one’s parents, and a person’s caste name often functioned as his or her surname Hindus married within their own castes The Hindu religion taught that marriage was a sacred relationship between the souls of the partners and that this union could extend beyond one lifetime Most marriages were arranged by the parents of the new spouses, who would examine the caste, financial status, genealogy, and appearance of their prospective in-laws before agreeing to the union Once the match was made, the families exchanged gifts, which were sometimes substantial Wedding ceremonies were lengthy and involved the singing of many Vedic mantras During the ceremony the bride’s family formally handed their daughter over to the groom’s family and asked them to care for her The groom finalized the marriage by tying a symbolic thread around the bride’s neck The wife was recognized as an important figure within the family—the symbolic goddess of the household Ideally, husband, wife, and children all were supposed to love and care for one another Spouses were expected to enjoy a sexual relationship with each other, an idea expressed in the Hindu text called the Kama Sutra Polygamy did exist, and it was not uncommon for men to have concubines in addition to their wives Widows often found themselves at a disadvantage in the community A widow’s husband’s family might not want to support her, which could leave her and her children destitute Sometimes a widow would commit suicide at her husband’s funeral in a ritual called suttee In this practice, which became common between the fifth and 10th centuries, a widow would come to her husband’s funeral dressed in wedding robes or other fine clothes, unlike the other mourners She would then join her dead husband on the funeral pile and allow herself to burn to death In Japan families typically lived in small groups consisting of a married couple, their children, and sometimes the husband’s parents and unmarried siblings The husband was the head of the household, and the wife was expected to obey his orders An oldest son would inherit his parents’ home and farm; in return, he was expected to care for his parents until they died When a woman married, she left her own family’s